Forgive by moving on and
letting go
Forgiving a personal hurt is easier than forgiving one that has been done to
others - especially loved ones. This, I am sure is behind the reaction of the
leaders who speak on our behalf about the current conflict in
I was on a morning commuter train some years ago when three men got on (at
Macclesfield, of all unlikely places), one of whom was wearing combat style
clothes and brandishing a large hunting knife. While he was mouthing threats
and obscenities to no one in particular, everyone pretended to ignore him
(carried on reading the paper or looking out of the window - that sort of
thing). However, once he started to direct his attentions to one young lady,
something had to be done! I offered to swap seats with her and she was happy to
accept, as this made it difficult for him to continue what he was doing to her.
As I sat down he asked if I was mad or just fancied him. Before I could reply
(other than to attempt a smile and say 'No'), one of his companions told him
that he was acting "out of order" and apologised on his behalf. The
man with the knife considered this, shrugged his shoulders and smiled. The
atmosphere changed, even though he went back to the more generalised outbursts
until his friends persuaded him to get off (at
The point of this story is that the acceptance of an offence makes is easier to forgive and move on. If the apparent aggressor justifies their actions, as is happening now in Afghanistan, happens regularly in Northern Ireland and has even happened here in Trentham, there is no obvious resolution and the difficult problem of the 'appropriate response' arises. This is also when seeing things from God's point of view is the ultimate salvation.
Because of what happened in an isolation ward, nearly 51 years ago, I know that my body has a finite existence, consciousness continues when the body no longer offers a platform for perception and that the dialogue with the Almighty continues. From this experience (and others that have followed) I can extrapolate that all bodies (individuals and organisations) will pass away but nothing is really lost. What I have learnt from the stories told by Howard Storm, Helen Greaves and Peter Richelieu is that those who find it hard to let go of a human persona, after what we call death, are the ones that create for themselves a kind of hell. From my own experience I know that those who cannot let go of something during this life also cause themselves hurt.
Thus, for peace in both this partial life and the greater whole, we must let go and move on and the greatest love we can offer others is to help them do likewise. The way to achieve this is by being open to the greater understanding (i.e. having an understanding of the greater reality) and then acting on this understanding. Jesus did and promised that we can. By opening yourself to the dialogue with God (prayer) one way or another you will get the answer to all questions (as Jesus promised).
Paul Newman,
October 2001
Front Page | Home Page for individuals | Business Services Index | Site contents & internal links | Email the Author